remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
