It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize