I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
