you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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