Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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