found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
