Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
