Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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