Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize