A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize