Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
