OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
