yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
