Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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