The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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