Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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