Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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