doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
