I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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