Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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