Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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