Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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