this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
