Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
