member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
