if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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