do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
