Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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