Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize