**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
