Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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