That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
