p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
