he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize