I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
being pregnant is like rehab
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
