GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
