all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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