Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
