The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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