I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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