i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
