I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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