'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
