We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
