Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
