it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
