Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
