Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
