Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
