You really coming over, don't trick.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
