Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
