we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize