Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
