Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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