My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
